The Eternal Guest Room

Infertility kinda sucks.

the injustice of it all


It’s all so unfair.

Most people have it so easy. They decide they want to have a baby, and BAM – they try a month or two, pee on a stick, get the ok from the doctor, announce it on facebook, and have a perfectly healthy 9 months with a perfectly healthy baby at the end of it. Then they usually complain about how uncomfortable it is to be pregnant and how hard it is to have a baby and what a tough thing it is to be a parent.

But it all happens so easily for them.

And then there are the rest of us. Nothing is easy. We try for years. Some of us never have success. I know women who have been trying for 5-10 years with nothing. I know women who have had 5 or 6 rounds of IVF fail.

And then there is – in my opinion – the worst thing; trying for a long time, finally having success, and then losing the baby.

Obviously, any miscarriage is terrible and painful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but I think there is a special kind of hell that those women feel who have tried for so long and wanted it so much, and then get it, and then lose it.

A girl in my support group had success from a frozen embryo transfer (FET) after a failed IVF. Then she developed preemclampsia, and the only way to cure it is to deliver the baby. So they induced her with no hope for the baby’s survival. She was 20 weeks along – far enough past the scary first trimester but not far enough to have a viable baby.

It isn’t fair. My heart breaks for her and her husband. I barely knew her, but I’ve been thinking about her constantly. She tried so long that she was out of hope, and then she got a miracle, and now it’s gone.

It’s hard to believe in anything at times like this.

Why is it all so unfair?

2 Responses

This is heartbreaking. My thoughts go out to your friend.

  • It is indeed very unfair, for no particular reason. That’s why I prefer to think of the randomness of it all instead of thinking that God does have a plan.

  • Leave a Reply