The Eternal Guest Room

Infertility kinda sucks.



We walked into the clinic thinking “this may be the last time we ever come here.” Ironically, I had to give them my license and insurance card and sign new papers because they got a new system. I guess I’ll think of it as “new beginnings.”

In a blur we walked to the sono room. She got the wand where it goes, turned on the screen, and said “let’s see…you’ve got one sac…so you’ve got one baby. We’ll just check to make sure there’s only one in there.”

One embryo implanted.

And then split.

We have identical twins.

“Shocked” is an understatement. There was a 3% chance of this happening. This was the one scenario we hadn’t even considered.

I’ve gotten so attached to my little embryos that I thought I would be sad if one didn’t make it; now I’m relieved.

Both babies (babies!) measured at exactly 7 weeks, where I am today. Both babies had good heartbeats – in the 140s. We saw two babies on the screen. Two babies with beating hearts. As she printed photos for us, she placed them on my stomach. “Here’s baby A. And here’s baby B. And here’s both together.”

Baby A was floating in the middle. Baby B was hiding in the corner. The heart beats were very, very obvious.

As awesome and shocking and surreal as it was to get that positive test, this is a thousand times more, for all of those. I can’t even wrap my head around it. Any of it.

After the sonogram we saw the doctor. He came in with a “congratulations!” and then a serious “here’s the bad news.” They didn’t see a dividing membrane between the babies, which means that there’s nothing to keep them separate in there (they are sharing a gestational sac). It might just be too early to see it, but if it never appears, it’s potentially dangerous – the babies could fight for blood & necessities, or they could move around and get tangled in each others’ umbilical cords. Bad news.

So even though we’re thrilled and happy, we’re still somehow in the bad statistics zone. We’re staying positive and hoping that the membrane will show up soon so that we’ll have less to worry about. Obviously with twins there is always concern, but ruling out monoamniotic twins would be lovely. Our first OB appointment is next Thursday and we’re hoping to find out a little more then.

This is finally starting to feel real and exciting and awesome, even with the big “what if” looming over us. For now we choose to be ecstatic, and happy, and hopeful, and believe this is the amazing thing that we’ve waited for for so long.

It’s totally crazy though.

13 Responses

This is so freaking cool.

  • I’m glad you’re taking the time to enjoy your good news. You have two babies!! 🙂

  • eeeekkkk!!! I’m so happy for you two!!! congratulations!!!!! how exciting I hope everything works out in the end and you two will end up with two perfectly normal and healthy bouncing babies!

  • Absolutely amazing. Congratulations! Got a little choked up while reading this!

  • Wow!!! Incredible news!

  • I am speechless and loving it!

  • i’m crying! oh, my, yes! so, we can start calling them danny and arnold now, right?

  • Joy, joy, joy! Celebrating you and your great news!

  • YAY!!!! I am overjoyed for you! I have re-read this post now for the 3rd time because I am so darn excited! I know you’ve said you aren’t big on posting sono pics, but I am dying to see those babies! 🙂 Praying now for continued good news and for that membrane to form!

  • absolutely superb!

  • EEEeeee!!!! :-)!!!!1

  • Wow! Congratulations on two little ones!! I’m glad you are enjoying the GREAT news for now. What will be, will be, and the best thing you can do for now is just enjoy the moment and the two beautiful heartbeats!!

  • So cool! I’m super psyched for you guys and keeping fingers crossed that the membrane just isn’t visible yet! 😉

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