The Eternal Guest Room

So here’s something I never thought I’d be doing.

Starting a blog focused on infertility? Yeah right. How lame.

I find that I eat my words every single day these days.

A quarter of a decade ago, we decided to have a kid. Zillions of people do it every day, mostly on accident, so how hard could it be?

I always said that if it turned out we had problems or it wasn’t easy, I’d be ok with that. We’d just travel a lot. No biggie.

Be careful what you wish for.

So here we are.

After 14 months, Darek finally convinced me that we needed to see doctors. I was OK; he wasn’t. Surgery? Great. That sucks. Every appointment took at least 2 months to book. When you’ve been waiting 14 months, another 2 feels like an eternity.

After surgery, we waited three months. The numbers went up. There was HOPE. Hope hope hope. Beautiful and terrible all at once. Three more months went by. The 6-month waiting period. Numbers went up more. Yay!

That was five months ago. We wasted three whole freaking months with a drug that possibly and probably did the exact opposite of what it was supposed to do. A friend took the drug for a month and bam. So easy.

That was two months ago.

It’s so, so easy to discount the years. But when you’re walking this path, struggling through this crap, it feels like a lifetime. Every month: hope. Every month: disappointment. Every month: grieving. Every month: mourning a loss. Every month: starting over again.

And this month we start a new chapter: going totally, completely public.

Here we are. Here it is.