The Eternal Guest Room

So it’s probably time for an update.

We finally had our first appointment with a specialist – an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist). I didn’t want to go, but it was time, so we went. It’s awkward to sit in a waiting room where people know exactly why you’re there. We’re in the same boat, for the most part, but it still feels kind of weird. Privacy goes out the window with all of this, and it feels weird, and kind of sad.

We found the doctor through a roundabout referral, and we both liked him enough. I kind of wished he wouldn’t draw so many pictures of my ovaries, but, you know…can’t be too picky here. I’m a visual person so it worked for me in the end.

There’s a spectrum of different treatments you can do, starting with a drug called Clomid and ending with the dreaded IVF. We already tried the drug (fail), so he crossed that out. Then he crossed out IVF. And that was a super big relief, that we probably won’t need to consider that. $14,000 with a less-than 50% chance of success? No thanks.

So that left us with a middle option. Two middle options, actually, which are really just variations of the same thing. We chose the less aggressive of the two – 15% chance of twins instead of 25%.  It’s called an IUI, and I mostly refer to it as a “direct deposit.” You can google it if you want specifics. I feel weird talking about it here.

It involves taking fertility drugs and it involves giving myself shots.

Yes giving myself shots.

Which is not going to happen. I’m the one on the verge of passing out every time a needle is in the room. Darek will be giving me shots at our house. Weird!

We went to our training session yesterday. So you can learn how to give yourself shots properly. Which is everyone’s dream, I know. I should be so lucky.

I don’t know how open I want to be with all of this. To talk about the procedure is one thing, and I think that I’m ok with that. But I don’t really want or need people to know where I am in “my cycle” (ew), or what day a procedure would happen, or any specifics like that. Mostly because I just couldn’t deal with the questions: “Did it work?”

So I leave you with this. This is what we’re going to try. I could write about my feelings, but they’re pretty muddled at the moment.

Mainly I just wanted to give an update on where we are right now.