The Eternal Guest Room

I got the dreaded question today…

“So, any news? You going to have any kids?”

It’s gotten to the point where I usually just say “yeah, we’ve been trying to do that for over two and a half years now,” but this was one of those situations where that wouldn’t go over so well. So I did my deer-in-the-headlights shrug and nervous laugh, and later went out to my car to cry.

I don’t know why this is a question that people think is appropriate to ask a casual acquaintance or, in this case, an ex-co-worker that hadn’t seen me in at least 2 years.

I absolutely don’t mind when a close friend or family member asks in a way that’s caring and not just nosey. I welcome those questions, and I mean that.

But it is 100% not appropriate to ask someone you barely know when they are going to have kids. How did something so personal become such open territory? You have no idea what their story is. And a question like that can throw someone like me off for the rest of the day.

I find that if I keep myself busy and distracted and don’t think about this stuff, I can be ok. But when I hear another person’s Big News, or have to be around someone who is obviously pregnant, or have to deal with questions like the ones I got today, I go back to being not ok.

And it sucks.

As far as an update as to what’s going on with us lately…

We’re still just waiting.

And it sucks.

We should find out in the next week or so whether we can move forward with an IUI. I’ve pretty much given up hope with anything ever happening naturally, and though I rationally know that it’s still a possibility, I grieve that loss of hope every day. Sometimes it’s harder to hope than it is to give up hope.

So. To sum it up – we’re just waiting right now. Story of my life.