The Eternal Guest Room

So.

I’m not doing so good.

Or well. Or whatever.

For awhile I was on something of a high – “yay, we found the problem, we fixed the problem, we’re solving the problem, we get a fresh start and a clean slate, now we just wait for babies!” But then reality kicked in, we had an unbelievably crappy month, and my optimism sank. It sank quickly, and it sank dramatically.

More confessions: I started going to therapy about a week before Christmas. I finally reached my breaking point, and I knew it. It was something I had debated about for a long time, and I finally decided it was time. It’s not something I’m particularly excited about, and it’s not really even something that we can afford, but we feel that it’s something absolutely worth trying.

I’ve debated about posting about this, because it’s something that is so, so personal to me. But the truth is, that after nearly 3 years, this is something that I just can’t handle on my own. Darek is awesome, but he can’t bear the burden alone. I don’t have any friends or family members who really understand what I’m going through. So it seems relevant to post here.

I don’t really have anything interesting to say, I guess. I just thought maybe…I don’t know. It’s hard to say. We tend to post the more positive things here (I’m sure that seems hard to believe, but trust me, it’s true) and keep the more negative to ourselves. But the truth is that it is so hard. And some days, I just don’t know what to do.