So everybody knows about Facebook – the social website designed solely for the purpose of announcing your pregnancy, giving constant updates on your pregnancy, commenting on other people’s pregnancies, and then posting constant photos of your child once it’s born.
Wait, that’s not what it’s for?
I’m being facetious of course. Obviously that’s not what it’s for – but to me, it feels like it sometimes. Of course, in my Facebook feed, nobody is pregnant or has small children. Discovering the “hide” feature was one of the best days of my life. I’m not even sure who I’m friends with sometimes because I haven’t seen their updates in years. Unfortunately “friends'” comments to hidden “friends” still pop up, as do other things.
It probably sounds really immature but I tend to get really upset when certain things show up. So I do my best to stay away from Facebook. There’s no need to torture myself more than I already do. But I do break down on occasion and go back there. Always at the worst time – like the day when yet another newlywed makes their announcement or the day maternity photos are posted or some other depressing thing.
I’ve considered deleting my account, and one of these days it might come to that point. I’ve considered de-friending people, but I don’t want to be totally rude. For now, I just try to stay away.
I’ve already made some decisions for the future, if I ever have the chance to implement them. I will never use an ultrasound photo for my profile picture – Lame! I will never complain about the inconveniences of being pregnant – Annoying! I will not post offensive things such as “having children is the only reason to live” or “you can’t know real love until you have a child” or similar such things – Rude!
You might be thinking: “Yeah, you say that now, but you’ll change your mind.” I won’t. After 3+ years of this, I’m hypersensitive in a crazy way, not only to my feelings but to others’ as well, and that isn’t just going to melt away anytime soon.
I’m having a bad week and feeling extra grumpy today. Can you tell?
IComLeavWe: Join the Conversation
I’m sorry your week sucked. =(
Kristy, I don’t know you and you don’t know me but I feel compelled to respond to your comment. Yes, I am Stacie’s aunt and I love her and Darek intensely. I feel like your comment is not compassionate. You obviously have children and unless you struggled to have those children you can’t know how Stacie feels. I never had fertility issues but I have very close friends who did and yes, it was difficult but I wanted to walk with them through those hard times…not push them away. Stacie is being open and honest with us about where she is and we all need to honor that. These are powerful and deep emotions and sensitivity is called for. Your comment sounds accusatory and just a little selfish. If you don’t want to listen to Stacie’s heart, then don’t read this blog. It seems it would be easier for you to live as if this wasn’t happening to them. They can’t pretend…it is where they live right now.
I was just being honest about my thoughts regarding this specific post, Julie. I’m truly sorry if I ruffled any feathers. It hit close to home because FB is a great tool to keep up with out-of-state friends and it saddens me that we’re probably being shut out or “hidden”. We want to be part of our friends’ joys and tragedies, and we hope that they would want to be part of our own joys and tragedies. I don’t think that’s selfish, it’s part of healthy friendship And Stacy, you know I’ve always had a special place in my heart for you since day one when we met at Hebron.
It’s not about ruffling feathers. It’s about respecting the feelings of friends. If it is painful for Stacie to see these things on Facebook, why would you want her to see it? I read your first comment and immediately started crying at what I felt was an insensitive statement. Maybe Stacie and Darek can understand where you are coming from, but I can’t. I don’t think it’s part of a healthy friendship to force your joys on someone when it hurts them to see it. Maybe I’m just a fiercely loyal cousin, but I’m proud of how open Stacie and Darek have been about how they feel right now. I think your comment was condescending and it hurt me to read it.
Kristy, I am the mother of Darek and If your world revolves around Facebook that much then don’t read Stacie’s blog.
I had fertility issues and it is very painful experience. I applaued Stacie for sharing her feelings.
I have sent personal correspondence to Stacie with an apology and asked for my comments to be removed from the blog.
The original comment has been removed. Please read any references to “Kristy” above as “Sanchez”. Thank you.
Hi, mind if I add you to my blog list? I just found you through stirrup queens.
I was reading some of your posts and the one about church really struck a chord with me. I have the exact same problem. We moved to Ohio almost a year ago and still haven’t regularly attended church, pretty much because of the fact that I can’t seem to get through an entire service without wanting to burst into tears. And it doesn’t ever seem to get any easier!
Anyway, hi!
I am positive that facebook was indeed invented to torture infertiles with the reproductive success of everyone else in the world.
Doesn’t anyone realize how boring all those baby updates and pregnancy complaints are? YAWN. Get a life.
Ha ha, ok, yes I am a little bitter.
I love your FB rules for yourself. I think I will do the same, if I ever get the chance.