The Eternal Guest Room

Infertility kinda sucks.



The reality that I will be doing IVF hit me like a ton of bricks tonight.

It’s been so easy over the years to say “I’m going to do IVF” but to actually realize it’s about to happen is another thing entirely.

I feel pathetic, overwhelming self-pity. Why do I have to go through this? Why can’t I be like everyone else? They all have it so easy – why do I have to spend a fortune and take daily shots and get invasive doctor visits on a near-daily basis, when they get it all for free? All for nothing?

It’s easy to say “Yay I’m excited! IVF! We finally have a chance!”

But it’s another to face it.

I’m scared.

Lately everyone else’s IVF cycles seem to be failing.

Why would I be any different?

What if it’s all for nothing?

The future is so cloudy. I have no idea what it holds.

Right now, I’m just scared.

13 Responses

I did IVF 6 times and I remember being terrified! But it’s also totally doable and can give you success! I now have a 4 1/2 year old and 2 year old twins! Try not to let the whole process overwhelm you (because it very easily can if you let it!). Good luck! I featured your blog tonight!

  • […] lastly, I’m lovin’ Darek from The Eternal Guest Room! She is scared about her upcoming IVF cycle and overwhelmed by the process. She recently visited the newest member […]

  • Clearly, I FAILED in my attempt to cheer you up. sorry. =(

  • It’s definitely ok to feel like that. For sure. But can I also say, that I am excited for you?? 🙂

    I’m hoping your cycle goes well!

  • IVF is a hard thing to do and accept that you need to do, but it also affords you the best success rates- far better than IUI. Here to hold your hand along the way.
    P.S. it is hard to watch others fail but try to remember that their cycles have no impact on you, they are all totally separate events. sending you love and luck

  • I am sorry you are feeling fearful. It is something that holds so much hope without have any guarantee. It sucks that when IF is a part of our lives we do not have the joyful anticipation other preggo ladies have but however our babies come to us, I believe all the waiting and struggle will mean we love them just a little more. Praying you find peace.

  • Praying for you and Darek daily. Much love and peace.

  • We are IVF alumnae. I felt just as you do before/during treatment, but now that it is behind us and I am 10 weeks pregnant with twins, I am DAMN proud of all that we went through to get here. It takes a strong person and an even stronger marriage/relationship to make it through this process. Just think about how very loved your future baby/babies already are – you both love him/her/them so much that you’re willing to do all of this for them!

    You can do this! Best of luck!

  • Hi there,
    I am about to start our first ever IVF in 2 weeks. I am not yet scared. I think it’s because I am still in some form of denial.
    It hasn’t really hit me yet that I am about to put my body and my soul through such a thing. AND I haven’t yet even considered the possibility that it may not work. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to go through with it.
    I can relate though to what you are feeling. I am sure I will wake up in sweats one of these nights, trembling and crying that I cannot go through with it. I am almost waiting for that.
    I think it’s natural to be scared. IVF is scary. BUT it seems to be the only hope for us to have a biological child. The promise of that, is enough to ease all the fears…
    BELIEVE. Keep the faith.
    And if you want an IVF rookie buddy…let me know…I will be shaking right here on the other side of the computer.
    My thoughts are with you!

  • Thinking of you. Love & hugs.

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