The Eternal Guest Room

You know what sucks? Not being allowed to pee.

You know what really sucks? Finally being allowed to pee, but only enough to fill a tiny cup, and then having to stop and hold the rest.

And you know what else really sucks? Having one person push down on your full bladder while a doctor pokes around inside your uterus.

This was my day.

After following the instructions to drink exactly 32 ounces of water exactly one hour before our mock transfer appointment was scheduled, we were called from the waiting room 15 minutes late. Then the nurse said “Okay, we’re going to do your medication training first.” And after seeing a look of panic in my face, she allowed me to pee – a tiny bit.

Then we did our medication training. She showed us how to do 2  kinds of the shots (we’ve already done the other 2 kinds), including the biggest needles I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing. After asking me “are you going to pass out on me?” she gave us a handful of slightly smaller needles, and I felt immensely relieved that I’ve lost 9 pounds and qualified to be small enough to get the “Small” needles. 1.5 inches instead of 2.

Yay.

After a crapload of instructions, we got to go back to the sonogram room. I laid down and the sono lady put blue gel on my stomach and pushed a little and immediately said “Wow – you need to go fill another cup” and so I got to go pee a tiny bit more into another tiny cup, then return to the room with a still uncomfortably-full bladder.

It was weirdly kind of fun to finally get the kind of sonogram with the blue gel and the outside sonogram thingy (you know, the kind that pregnant ladies actually get to enjoy)  – instead of the big freaking wand that goes up inside. But in its place was the lovely speculum and catheter combo, so that was kind of short-lived.

So the doctor measured my uterus while the sono lady moved the thingy around, and together they made me super uncomoforbale for several minutes while I stared at the ceiling and tried not to A. Pee on the doctor and B. Clench every muscle in my body and C. Stop breathing.

And, as these things do, it all eventually ended. I guess everything was fine. Measured and planned, or whatever they do. It was a quick process, after all the full-bladder pee-holding.

When we left the room I started to wander down the hallway and D said “don’t you need to go to the bathroom?” and I said “oh yeah” and got to pee for the 3rd time. I’d gotten so used to my uncomfortable state that I’d forgotten what it felt like to not have to pee in a serious way.

Then we checked out and found out that insurance hasn’t paid for a December 2010 visit. Commence eye rolling. Luckily the financial lady at our office actually seems to like me and finally believes me when I say that insurance should cover stuff (these things took a long time to work out) so she didn’t make us pay more than our co-pays. And we got new pricing sheets and found out that the pricing we got back in January is still valid. Yay! I was worried that the price shot up in the last 10 months.

On the way home we filled my prescription for birth control pills. I start tonight because my cycle already started – four days early.

Because that’s how I roll – surprises at every turn.

IVF is on.