The Eternal Guest Room

I cannot sleep. Which is unfortunate because sitting up is making me dizzy and I was getting really bored just laying in bed. I kept waking up every 20 minutes so I finally said “nevermind.”

Surgery went well, overall. The doctor got the polyp out and scraped and burned a little deeper this time to try to prevent it from coming back. The bad thing about that is that I now have a balloon in my uterus that will prevent the walls from fusing together (and thus making me completely barren and sterile, wouldn’t that suck?). A balloon that has to be in there for 5 days. A balloon that I have to deflate and remove on my own. Gross. I’m a very squeamish person and the thought of having a foreign object inside my body that I will have to take out by myself – ugh, it’s just a little much, especially on top of everything else.

I’ll try to post the photos of the polyp before and during removal for anyone who wants to see. Oddly, I had several requests for photos last time and never got around to it, so I’ll try to do that this time once we get them at the post-op appointment in a few weeks.

Surgery was at a different hospital than last time, and even though this hospital was newer and fancier on the outside (it was just a regular hospital once you got past the lobby) and had free pastries, we liked the other one better. The people just weren’t quite as friendly and didn’t seem to care about us as much. Not horrible, just not amazing. Last time I had the most AMAZING nurse ever, and I missed her. And their cracker and beverage selection post-surgery was not nearly as good as the other hospital. AND I had to listen to the nurses go on and on about lunch and Sonic drinks and a variety of chocolate while I was absolutely starving right before my surgery. I nearly leapt out of my hospital bed attached to my IV and jumped the counter to punch them in the face.

I didn’t feel the sheer terror in the operating room like last time, and I remember the anesthesia kicking in and kind of feeling like “yeah, this isn’t so bad.” Recovery is not so great so far, but I’m hoping I feel better tomorrow. I was in a lot of pain despite the vic.od.in – which is making me super dizzy – and finally threw some advil in there and found that helped more. Or maybe it was the combination. At the hospital I kept having to ask for more painkillers through my IV because they didn’t seem to be doing much and it hurt so badly. And it took forever for D to come back, they couldn’t get through to the people who could contact him or something, and I felt really lonely.

And I had a male nurse. Which – don’t get me wrong, I have no issues with male nurses – was just a little uncomfortable in a situation like this. I know they are professionals and it’s no biggie to them, but when a guy my age is taking care of me after a very invasive and awkward procedure like that, it just adds to my discomfort. And when he asked if we had kids and we said no, he actually said “That’s probably wise.”

“Um, that’s why I’m here,” I replied.

Sometimes I feel like banging my head against the wall.