The Eternal Guest Room

I’m so tired of being poked and prodded.

I was halfway to my part-time job the other day when I realized I had been bleeding from my morning blood work – it had soaked the entire thing of gauze and had made its way all the way through my hoodie sleeve. Not a great discovery during rush hour traffic on Preston (a massively horrible street at 8:00am). Blood all over my car…

OK, so maybe that’s a slight exaggeration. But it sucked. And now my light purple hoodie has bloodstains. Gross. I think my arm is saying “enough!”

In this past year I’ve been stabbed by enough needles to last me several lifetimes. I should be used to all the blood draws and injections in my stomach by now, but I still get terrified before every stab.

So, naturally, I decided to start doing acupuncture.

We’re running out of time. Our year is ending. The 4 year mark is creeping up on us. Either way, we’re planning on being done by then.

So I’m giving it everything I have. Including acupuncture for fertility. I’ve had a few sessions by this point, and they’re getting a little better. The acupuncturist let me bring a book to read once she saw how anxious I was, and that helped tremendously.

I feel the needles going in and out, but that’s not too bad – what’s bad is laying totally still for 10-30 minutes knowing there are needles in my ear, neck, or head, not to mention my hands, legs, and feet. For me, it’s absolutely terrifying.

But I feel that I have to try everything before this ends. So I know that I did everything I could. So I have no regrets. So I don’t have to wonder “what if I had done that?”

So it’s “poke poke” for me.

I’m really hoping it’s worth it though. I’m freaking tired of needles.