A word to the all the fertile people out there:
Don’t ever tell someone who’s having trouble getting pregnant to “just relax” and stop stressing about it. All the relaxing in the world won’t help if someone has blocked tubes or a husband with no sperm. It’s offensive, and it makes people feel invalidated.
But, that being said –
A psychiatrist that I went to for awhile told me repeatedly that depression can hinder conception, and then there are lots of people who believe in the power of positive thinking.
So I have to wonder: Does my mind, or my perception, or what I tell myself, have any effect on anything whatsoever?
In January my therapist encouraged me to “think positively” and believe that I would be 2 or 3 months pregnant when my sister’s wedding rolled around in June. And I did. For awhile I truly, really, actually believed that it would happen.
But it didn’t.
For the last IUI we did, we talked as if it had worked. We even talked about “the twins,” because I sincerely have a feeling that if I ever do get pregnant it will be two at once. It just seems ironic somehow – I don’t know.
But there were no twins, and there was no baby. It was all just empty again.
For this IUI, I have no hopeful feelings. No positive thinking. My heart is just not into it.
Other people have offered to carry the hope for me, which is unbelievably helpful and touching, but I can’t help wondering: am I dooming myself if I don’t carry that hope myself?
Does it really matter?
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I personally think that positivity can go a long way, but I TOTALLY get that after your last IUI you might not be so eager to be positive about this one. I think it’s your prerogative how you want to handle it and neither attitude ‘dooms’ anything. My 2cents.
I think depression probably makes a physical difference, but on the other hand, it’s hard (impossible) to keep positive about something you have no hope about. I get that, really, I do. Sometimes it’s all you can do to just put one foot in front of the other and if that’s what you can do, then just do that.
I’ve been having the same question and I’ve come to the conclusion that the belief does not really matter. In the beginning I was 100% sure I’d be pregnant withing 6 months but I wasn’t, now I don’t have much hope but I continue with the treatments – I just think that there is a big chance that at some point, it has to happen. Statistically, if I just carry on, it more or less has to happen… or so I hope.