It’s official.
Negative.
Another $900 down the drain, for nothing.
We had been really hopeful for this one. Really, really hopeful. It would have been so nice to have some good news. It would have been so wonderful to be done with this. It would have been such a relief to not have to endure another gut-wrenching mother’s day.
I’m having a hard time finding words. My mind is just sort of empty. Everything feels sort of surreal. I know these fail all the time, I know the first one doesn’t usually work, I know we have another chance…but none of that really matters at the moment.
I got the official call with the test results a few minutes ago, but I’ve known since yesterday morning. I’m mostly feeling pretty numb. I think I just can’t take the pain anymore. I’m giving myself the weekend to grieve, and then it’s time to start the process all over again.